wynnesome

[FIC] Having a Shield Day
Team Kill fill for the 2022 SteveTony Games ( stevetonygames )
Work Type: Fic (1299 words)
Universe: 616
Bingo Square: Shield
Challenge: Camouflage (emulating the prose style of Ryan North)
Content Warnings: See content warnings (spoilers) in ao3 end notes.

Crack/parody reader-insert fic inspired by Loran's mention of making a reader-insert fic fill for the New Shoes challenge.  And then Rob Liefeld got in there, and it became satirical, too.

Having a Shield Day on AO3

A little bit of mutual pining crangst based on this one-panel universe from What If v2, #34: What if Industrialist Tony Stark Owned a Chain of Laundromats? (Earth-9202)

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"We Get Clothes Stark White" was the claim, and Tony's service proudly lived up to it.

Most people had clean clothing to change into while they sent their dirties off to be laundered, but somehow his teammates regularly managed to make a mess of all theirs at once. That just meant he also had the pleasure of getting his favorite clients -- and one of them in particular -- stark naked.

He worked the uniform pants in the sink of detergent suds, agitating them gently but firmly, thinking of super-soldier washboard abs. Of course, the company had dozens of the finest laundry machines, all in gleaming in rows of red and gold, straight off his own industry-leading Stark production lines. The ones reserved for the Avengers had even more custom upgrades. Nevertheless, he would always see to this load by hand.

Or at least, the... residue of it. Based on the stains he scoured away each week, Steve was all lathered up for *someone*. Too bad it would never be him.

Steve sat around the table with the other Avengers, all nearly naked, waiting for their uniforms to come back from the laundry.

Finally, Iron Man bustled in. "Sorry I'm late. I had some pressing business to attend to."

Yes, well, Steve had some pressing business of his own. As a team, they weren't worried much about modesty, but preserving decency was another matter, and that got harder and harder every time.

It had become an endless cycle. Sliding into the clean, fresh fabric that fit him so well, snug and secure around all his... essential equipment. And all he could think of was Tony's strong, competent hands, scrubbing and rubbing these very inseams and fly... Tony, Tony, soaping up his delicates.

Every week, the stains disappeared, but the truth, and his longing, could never come out in the wash.

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Username: wynnesome, steward of subversion
Work Type: Fic
Bingo Prompt: Mutual Pining (opposite day)
Content Warning: Laundry-Related Puns
Extra Prompts: None
Main Universe: Earth-9202, "Laundryverse"